Kelly Ripa says that she once fainted during sex with husband Mark Consuelos and woke up in an emergency room in a tale that sounds straight out of a daytime soap opera.
The cause is surprising, just to how a soap opera would take unexpected turns. In her upcoming novel Live Wire: Long-Winded Short Stories, which will be released on September 27, Ripa recalls the funny anecdote: It’s 1997, one year after she married her All My Children co-star Consuelos and six months after she gave birth to their first child, Michael. While having sex with her spouse, Ripa fainted and woke up in the emergency room. The analysis? Ovarian cysts in pairs rather than BDE.
In an extract from Haute Living, Ripa describes the hospital visit: “My eyes flicker between the hazy images on the screen, the remnants of my ovarian tormentor, and Mark contentedly eating away.” Mark might be at a movie or a spa, but instead I’m flat on my back wondering when the other two cysts will rupture. Sexual activity can be so horrific, but one of us is absolutely unfazed. There he is, contentedly chewing on the saltines right now and getting a second apple juice.
When Ripa learned Consuelos had hastily dressed her to resemble a “dime shop prostitute,” with a 1980s-style French-cut leotard, his enormous Juventus warm-up pants, and scarlet “f—- me” Manolo Blahniks, her disorientation turned to fear.
The section continues, “And here is my husband, who is, dare I say, trendy, always well-dressed, and yet he clothed me like a dime shop prostitute in my hour of need.” To the extent that, while I was on the stretcher, I thought I was dreaming or having a nightmare, I didn’t recognise I had come to, it still baffles me to this day that this is the best outfit he could find for the day.
According to the co-host of Live With Kelly and Ryan, Consuelos was her “greatest champion” when penning her novel. I am this open book who will even turn the pages for you if you don’t keep up, and yet he allowed me to share these intimate moments because frankly, I think he found them entertaining. At the end of the day, I don’t think he would still be in this marriage if he didn’t find me entertaining. Mark is so quiet in the way he goes through his life, and yet he married a blowhorn, if you will.
In May, the long-married couple commemorated their 26th wedding anniversary. Michael, 25, Joaquin, 19, and Lola, 21, are their children.
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