MatthewPerryissharingthedarkestmomentsofhisaddictionjourneyinordertohelpotherswhoaresuffering.
Oneofthestoriesisabouthisdetoxexperience,whichcameafterafive-monthhospitalstayafterhiscolonexplodedasaresultofopioidabuse.
Inhismemoir,Friends,Lovers,andtheBigTerribleThing,theFriendsalum,53,writesaboutbeinginacomaonlifesupportwitha2%chanceofsurvivalin2018.
Hewasdischargedfivemonthslater,returninghomewithacolostomybag,whichheusedforninemonths.
Hisaddictionwasnotmiraculouslyhealedafternearlydying.
PerryclaimedhewasgivenOxycontinafterlyingtohisdoctoraboutpainfromoneofthe14stomachsurgeriesheunderwentasaresultofthecolonexplosion.
However,whathehad“connedthemintogivingme”wasnolongerworking,andheneededmore,hewrote.
Hisdoctorsrefused,buthisdrugdealeragreed.
Overthenextmonth,heattemptedfourtimestoobtainopioidsfromhisdealerbutwasapprehendedeachtime.
Perrywasthensentbacktorehab,thistimeinNewYorkCity.
Perryhadlosthistwofrontteethafterbitingintotoastwithpeanutbutteronitandhadn’tfixedthemwhenhegottorehab,inadditiontothecolostomybag(whichhecriedovereverymorningwhenheawokeandrememberedhehadit).
Thosewereminorconcernsbecausehehadtodetoxfrompillsandquitsmokingwhileinrehab.
Perry,a“heavysmoker,”explainedthathewastoldtostopsmokingbecausehewashavinganotherstomachsurgeryandsmokingwouldinterferewithhisrecovery.
Hethoughtitwas“waytoomuchtoask”to“quitOxycontinandsmokingatthesametime,”admittinghewas“scared.”
HebegantakingSubutex,adetoxdrugthathelpspreventwithdrawalsymptomscausedbystoppingotheropioids,anditwasn’ttoobad—untildayfour.
Bythattime,“Iwascompletelyoutofmymind.
Thishadalwaysbeenthemostdifficultday“ofdetox—aprocesshehasprobablygonethrough65timesinhislife.
Hefelttrappedinrehab,whichhelikenedtoaprison,claimingthateverycounselorwasa“guard”andthatheresembledaconvict“missingmytwofrontteeth.”
Onthedreadedfourthday,hestatedthat“somethinghitme”andthatitfelt“likesomethingwaspunchingmefromtheinside.”
Totakehismindoffeverything,hewanderedaimlesslyaroundtheroom.
Hedescribeditastryingto“walkoutsidemybody,”butheendedupinastairwell“inasortofpanicconfusionfuguestate.”
There,hewasreflectingonhislifeandstruggles,writingthat“thebadpartsofmylifewereappearingtomeallatonce.”
“I’llneverbeabletoexplainwhathappenednext,butallofasuddenIstartedslammingmyheadashardashumanlypossibleintothewall.”
Heperformedthe“mind-numbingslams”eighttimes.
Therewasone“Therewasbloodonthecement,onthewall,andallovermyface…
Therewasbloodallover.”
HeclaimedtoresembleRockyBalboafromhismovieendingscenes.
Someoneeventuallyheardhimandintervened.
“‘Whatareyoudoing?'”herememberedbeingasked.
“BecauseIcouldn’tthinkofanythingelsetodo,”heexplained.
Perryestimateshehasspent$9milliononaddictiontreatment.
HewenttorehabinSwitzerlandin2019andunderwentsurgeryto“putsomekindofweirdmedicaldeviceinmyback”torelievepain.
Hetookhydrocodonethenightbeforehissurgeryandwasthengiventheanesthesiadrugpropofolduringsurgery,whichcausedhishearttostopforfiveminutes.
Itwashissecondnear-deathencounter.
Perryhasbeencleanfor18months.
HebeganwritinghisbookonhisphonenotesappinthebackseatofacarashewasdriventoaFloridatraumatherapyfacility.
Perryadmittedthatafterfinishingthememoir,hedidn’treaditalluntilthedaybeforerecordingtheaudiobook.
He“criedandcriedandcried”whenhedid,hetoldGQ.
“‘Oh,myGod,thispersonhashadtheworstlifeimaginable!’Iexclaimed.
ThenIrealized,‘Thisismetalkingabout…'”
