A group of middle-aged men was drinking espresso martinis at Union Square Cafe the other night. His last words before he left were, “I’m the designated driver. Isn’t that a great drink to have while driving? “It’ll keep you up!” Mr. Likely DWI Recipient, you’re partly correct! He’s just one of many people who have succumbed to the allure of the espresso martini, a drink that’s both tasty and dangerous.
The drink has multiplied like mice beneath outdoor eating shelters in the last year. Regardless of where you are or what you’re doing, you can’t escape it. Football and RuPaul are just two examples.
Three “contemporary classics” are on the menu at two Michelin-starred Modern ($19) and Hold Fast on 46th Street ($15) – perched next to the actual martini and Manhattan like someone pushed Andrew Johnson onto Mount Rushmore. With some old Folgers and an old bottle of Kahla on hand, most bartenders will whip one up for you.
“I receive at least one request a night for an espresso martini,” said one bartender whose establishment lacks a coffee machine. “It was once a week a year ago.”
They’re adored by everybody. Faux-sophisticates’ crack, available over-the-counter. However, is there any worse time than 10 p.m. to blend intense coffee with vodka, coffee liqueur, and simple syrup?
Melatonin sales allegedly increased by 42.6% in 2020 as a result of the epidemic, and 2.77 million people searched for “insomnia” on Google during the first half of that year.
Sports dietician Amy Stephens of the Empire Elite Track Club said that liquor makes it more difficult to fall asleep, and that caffeine stays in your body for roughly four hours. A double dose of snoozing.
At 3 p.m., she said, “I would think you should quit [consuming coffee].” As a depressive, alcohol might impair your sleep after it’s processed by your liver.
In New York City, finding a doctor who likes the espresso martini is more difficult than finding a two-bedroom apartment with in-unit laundry in the West Village that’s within your price range.
Espresso may “raise your heart rate, and at times can be the reason for atrial fibrillation, anxiety, and despair,” Dr. Johanna Contreras, a cardiologist at Mount Sinai Hospital, told the Post. If you drink coffee with alcohol, you may not know how much you’re taking in, so you may wind up drinking more than you would have had you ordered a glass of wine.”
Even a sip of red wine will make your heart pound a little bit faster. Drinking to excess, according to recent research published in JAMA Network Open in March, raises your risk of cardiovascular disease.
You’re looking for more negatives? They’re all in your hands! Espresso martinis, due to the use of Kahla or simple syrup as sweeteners, are substantially more caloric than a standard martini or vodka drink. You may be looking at a 200 to 300-calorie beverage, Stephens said.
Like Ben Franklin and Marie Curie before me, I bought two pastries from Union Square Cafe this week in the interest of scientific investigation. Just one drink and I realized what Frankenstein’s monster must have felt like once the doctor turned on the electricity. “I’M ALIVE!?”
You feel like you can accomplish anything… except that you can’t since you’re also inebriated after a late-night cappuccino. Jim Carrey from “The Mask” and Barney Gumble from “The Simpsons” come together in this hybrid character.
In addition to being perversely delicious, the name “martini” provides a male sensation. The EM, in contrast to its non-coffee-based counterparts, is as smooth as a cold Frappuccino.
Once you’ve had a few drinks, you’ll feel like a dirty, polluted puddle on a street corner when you wake up fully dressed with all the lights on after being carried home by your irate buddy.
According to Kate Moss, or maybe Naomi Campbell, the drink exists “to wake me up and then f—- me up,” and that’s what it’s for.
What’s going on? Meh!
