Jennifer Lopez thought she was ‘going to die’ after ‘painful’ Ben Affleck split

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck’s road to marriage was not an easy one.

In a new interview with Apple Music 1the “Marry Me” singer reflected on her rekindled romance with the “Deep Water” actor and recalled the pain she felt after they ended their first engagement in 2004.

“It was so painful after we broke up,” Lopez, 53, told host Zane Lowe. “Once we called off that wedding 20 years ago, it was the biggest heartbreak of my life. I honestly felt like I was going to die.”

She continued, “It sent me on a spiral for the next 18 years where I just couldn’t get it right. But now, 20 years later, it does have a happy ending. It has the most ‘would never happen in Hollywood’ ending.”

Lopez — who rekindled her romance with 50-year-old Affleck 17 years after they first split — announced Friday that she will be releasing a new album called “This Is Me … Now,” an updated play on her 2002 release, “This Is Me… Then.”

“We captured me at this moment in time when I was reunited with the love of my life and we decided we were going to be together forever,” the “Let’s Get Loud” singer explained. “The whole message of the album is, ‘This love exists. This is a real love.’”

The “Gigli” co-stars got engaged for the first time in November 2002, the same month Lopez’s album “This Is Me … Then” was released, but called it quits two years later.

“Now I think what the message of [the album] is — if you have, like me at times, lost hope, almost given up, don’t,” Lopez told Lowe. “True love does exist and some things do last forever and that’s real. I want to put that message out into the world and that does take a lot of vulnerability.”

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In April 2021, Page Six broke the news that Lopez and Affleck were hanging out again after her split from ex-fiancé Alex Rodriguez. They got engaged a year later and eventually tied the knot in a July 2022 Las Vegas weddingwhich was followed by a formal ceremony at Affleck’s Georgia estate the following month.

The Savannah-area wedding was attended by famous friendsincluding actor Matt Damon and director Kevin Smith.

Lopez’s 14-year-old twins, Max and Emme, whom she shares with ex Marc Anthony, and Affleck’s kids, Violet, 16, Seraphina, 13, and Samuel, 10, whom he shares with Jennifer Garner, walked the multi-hyphenate down the aisle where life coach Jay Shetty was waiting to officiate the nuptials.