Since Season 19 has been a race to the finish line, it may not be all that unexpected that Rachel, Gabby, and the majority of their partners find the idea of getting engaged in the near future to be very horrifying.
The phrase “I believe I’m going to throw up” was used a lot on Monday night’s Fantasy Suite episode of The Bachelorette. Although we never receive proof of gastrointestinal release, I share their vomitous mood when I realise that this nauseating show was only the first of two Fantasy Suite episodes this week, which are merely the first of a three-week period leading up to the season finale.
since I believed that this season was over! You believed that the season was over. Really, didn’t it seem like the season was over? Tens of people have asked me as a Bachelor professional over the past week to confirm to them that this week’s “two-part Bachelorette extravaganza” would of course be the finale—and I had to admit that I actually had no idea. The future course of this season remained as uncertain as ever. Until, apparently, the Bachelor franchise itself received so many inquiries that they had to release one of the most perplexing visuals I’ve ever seen:
Here’s when it’s all going down – Plan your watch parties accordingly. pic.twitter.com/lU08TniAiz
— The Bachelorette (@BacheloretteABC) September 2, 2022
To get to know our double-Bachelorettes and their unidentified, real estate-selling, protein-shake-sipping boyfriends early in the season, I would have adored a double-episode week. But that vessel has left port. With only six men left, why not finally give this season more breathing room? I mean, a guy made it to Hometowns without ever going on a first-date or revealing more about his line of work as a carnie entrepreneur to the viewers. We recently learned more about the front-runner Tino than just the fact that he has been referred to as a “baby back bitch,” and none of it is good. The Men Tell All was 80% advertisements, 10% apps, and 100% ineffective in changing lives while on a cruise. Overall, this season has taught me to have very low expectations for both quality and quantity.
With only six doughnut heads still in the running, why are they now tripling the season’s runtime? It’s just plain odd. The only course of action, however, is forward because Erich has styled his mullet for the occasion and Johnny has just discovered that people frequently get engaged at the conclusion of this event. Even though it is a national holiday, let’s see what fence-jumper could justify a two-night event since I can’t see how this season could potentially support eight more hours of coverage.
Love is on the Mind
This episode features a lot of conversation between Rachel and Gabby about how hurt they felt during their previous Fantasy Suite encounter—you know, when Clayton told them all that he loved them before trying to break up with them simultaneously to demonstrate how little value he placed on such a declaration? Gabby starts her Fantasy Suites with Erich since she knows she can’t hurt him by confessing her love to him this week because she already did it last week. Perhaps this lingering sting is the reason for this.
Even while Gabby professes to want to fully experience each relationship (ABC-approved coitus), it’s becoming more and more obvious that Erich is her first and only choice. Although there isn’t much evidence of a spark of energy between them, Gabby seems to be telling us that they aren’t, so I guess we just have to take her word for it. We can tell that Gabby enjoys sitting on Erich’s lap and giving him little kisses repeatedly, as if her neck were a spring. But their only exchange of banter occurs when Gabby drags Erich to a natural pool in Riviera Maya, Mexico, and inquires, “Have you ever jumped off anything before?” (He has!) And at the height of his ability to convey his feelings for Gabby, Erich seems to have been saying to her, “I was like, damn,” throughout various emotional high points in their relationship.
The chemistry between Gabby and Erich, however, is off the charts. They confirm their love for one another during the nighttime portion of the date, and Gabby then pulls a card from under a pile of charcuterie that was written by Jesse Palmer, who apparently has the same handwriting as the coolest, meanest girl at your middle school. The following morning, there are shoes everywhere because they spent the night together.
